The battle of which I speak, my friends, is the Battle for the Sun Lounger. For years the wily Germans have been accused of hogging the deckchairs and loungers. British tourists arise from their sweaty beds and eschew breakfast knowing full well that they will soon partake of their traditional mid morning snack of a few pints of lager. Instead they pull on their speedos, tucking the elasticated waste in beneath the pasty beer belly (or lobster-like, depends on how long since they arrived), grab their towels and stroll down to the pool. Upon arrival they are faced by a multitude of Germans and no spare sun loungers.
Ah, but the British are canny! The next morning they get there even earlier sure in their desire to get a deckchair. But what do they see? They see towels; hordes of German towels, strategically placed to claim the sun loungers. The following day they get up earlier still, sometimes before they have even got back from the bars and clubs, and yet there are towels facing them! The more paranoid stay up late at night to ensure that the towels are not placed out the night before. They go to bed satisfied that the loungers are towel free and so drift into a sweet, blissful sleep, arising some 30 minutes later to get down to the pool before their German neighbour's. Once there they break into a hollow scream, muffled only by the multitude of Teutonic towels decorating the pool area.
It has been the bane of the British holiday maker for years. Except now a German lawyer has informed us that the German tourist is not legally entitled to hog the loungers with their towels. We Brits are completely entitled to remove the towels and inhabit the seats ourselves.
We know this you moron! That is not the point! It just wouldn't be polite to do that and so we suffer and moan. It is the British way, damn it!!! Besides now we no longer care about the sun loungers... it's about getting to them before the Germans do. We must prevail!
'"Nobody knows this in Germany, that it is a stereotype. It is the same with the football rivalry," Mr Hoecker said.'
Well fine, but that is hardly the point. We don't care that they don't get it. It's the fact that they do it that gets our goat. My apologies to Hrun for propagating this stereotype, but if he wouldn't leave his towel lying around I wouldn't have to...